Thought Perspectives is a private practice that provides counseling and psychotherapy for a wide range of people who are experiencing emotional problems including relationship and mental health difficulties.

Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling is a safe and effective way to repair or simply improve a marital relationship. It can give you the tools to problem solve, learn how to manage conflict, and communicate more effectively as a married couple. The most important aspect of marriage counseling is that it can assist in finding the root causes of the problems that are plaguing the relationship.

For example, a couple might realize that many of the relationship patterns that developed in their own marriage are modeled after the marital relationships of their parents or other important people in their lives. Another couple may recognize that the reasons they are pushing each other away emotionally has little to do with their own relationship and more to do with the trials and tribulations of their previous relationships.

Why Do Married Couples Seek Marriage Counseling?

Married couples seek marriage counseling for a variety of reasons. Some feel that they have grown apart and no longer share common interests. Some feel that they are misunderstood or underappreciated, and some may feel that their needs are not getting met. There could also be a number of other reasons why couples seek counseling.

Whatever the reasons are, the important thing is to seek help before you feel like the marriage is beyond repair. More times than not, married couples wait until the marriage is in a state of chaos before seeking professional help. This does not mean the marriage is beyond repair. However, it does mean that it will take much more time and effort to solve the problems than if the couple had come in when they first noticed their marriage progressing to an unhealthier level.

Who Is Marriage Counseling For amd How Can it Help?

Marriage counseling can benefit anyone dealing with these issues and many other issues:

Infidelity
Communication Difficulties
Lack of Emotion
Poor Conflict Resolution
Consideration of Divorce
Unemployment
Sexual Difficulties
Cultural Differences
Substance Abuse
Financial Problems
Life Transitions (death, retirement, moving)

Marriage Counseling Can Help You:

Respect yourself while still maintaining respect for your partner.
Express love and emotion in a healthy way.
Learn how to listen to what you spouse is really saying.
Meet the needs of your spouse.
Express what you need from your spouse.
Improve your communication.
Manage conflict at calmer and more productive levels.
Learn how to compromise with each other.
Terminate the poisonous effects of criticism and contempt.
Maintain the improvements made in the relationship.

Each individual brings their own personality, personal history and individual outlook on life to the marriage. Oftentimes, these will not match those of the other spouse. Those differences do not mean that the relationship is doomed. Contrarily, differences can often be viewed as complementary (opposites attract theory). Those differences can also aid in the understanding of opposing viewpoints.

However, differences you once found charming or interesting may now get under your skin. These differences can sometimes cause severe problems to develop such as extramarital affairs, communication difficulties, and feelings of loneliness or isolation.

Relationship problems can cause serious stress, hopelessness, worry, jealousy, and fear. Some may think that these problems will go away on their own. Left to fester, those problems will only continue to deteriorate the relationship and may eventually cause severe physical and psychological issues such as depression and anxiety.

How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

The married couple will take part in analyzing the good and bad parts of their marriage. The couple itself is the counselor's client and therefore the counselor works for what is in the best interest of the couple and not of a particular individual. Arguments may sometimes occur during a counseling session. This is normal and it is sometimes the duty of a counselor to act as a mediator. The role of the counselor is not to take sides when disagreements occur.

Marriage counseling works best when both people show up to the counseling sessions. Technically it is possible to see improvement when only treating one spouse, but it is more effective to treat the couple together. Treating one spouse is like treating half of the problem. However, one can still learn how their behavior, actions and mindset affect the marriage is negative and positive ways.

Each couple is unique which means that each couple has their own set of unique problems. This is precisely why counseling sessions are customized to meet the needs of each couple. Treatment that works for one couple will not necessarily work for another. This is where the skills of a good counselor are evident. Once a couple for a few sessions, a summary will be given to them outlining what might be the most appropriate way for them to move forward.